I am sorry..

I am sorry at the moment I don't have the time to write. I am in stress with school stuff and so on. But I will start writing soon again.

As an apology I would like to tell you a story, about what isolation can do to a person.

After I isolated myself because of my boyfriend, I started to lose interest in life. I tried to harm myself many times and never succeeded. Cutting, hitting, overdosing. I probably stopped in time because I was afraid of death. But I was desperate. I wanted to escape the desperation, the fear, and the pain. 

And the worst part? He knew about it. He told me I was a coward because I wasn't capable of killing myself. I was shocked by what he said.

How can someone tell a person who claims they love you, say that you are a coward for not being able to die. 

"Love" is a word that was being abused at that time. But now I know the correct definition of the word. Its called happiness.