This is the end for us

May 28 - Eight Months , Twenty-eight days

Ann has a best friend. Her name is Abby. Abby helped her when she was not able to do so herself. Abby did her final- grade project because she was too caught up with Connor.
Ann understood that she has let her down. She has let her best friend down. By looking at Abby, she sees the empty look in her eyes. The warmth, sympathy and the friendship gone. She just stares back to her as if she was nothing.

I had a best friend too. I lost her, because of him. He broke my strong friendship bond with her, just because he didn't want to share me with anyone. I was afraid to tell her what kind of person he was. She supported the relationship at the beginning and she even said he was perfect. I used to tell her everything. I even called her my ''pink diary''. I always though she knew everything better and she mostly always protected me. But when he was here she didn't. She turned her back on me. She believed everything other people said. She knew me the best. 4 years of friendship went down the drain that instance. She didn't try and yes it was my fault to. I pushed her away. I didn't contact her because of him. Just because I was afraid. 

Even today, after 2 years, we haven't talked. haven't looked at each other. The friendship that we had has vanished. But to admit, I am glad we aren't friends. Because of her I know what true friendship is. I know friends will fight by your side till the very end. They wont just give up, no matter how hard everything is. Friends love you for who you are and they don't get influenced by other people.

I felt alone. I was all by myself until I met a real, good and loyal friend. She was true and real.


Because of this I realized, that girl was never truly my friend.

I want me back

May 31 - Nine months, One day

Ann finishes her high school career and has nothing else to do. She decides to go for a run to look for sea glasses for her project for Connor. While running she starts thinking about questions, Why did I stop doing this? Why did I give it up?  
She imagines telling Connor about her wanting to run and she knows he would understand. But she still decides that she wants her old life back. She wants herself back. She feels alive and wonders how she could have forgotten about the feeling of being free.

This thought of wanting my old life back has came to my mind many times. The feeling of wanting to be free. Free from his chains and his words..  Before I knew him, I was a person full of happiness and filled with love. After knowing him, I was a person filled with sorrow, sadness and pain. I lost myself and I didn't know how to get it back.
I always asked myself what I did to deserve this. Why it had to be me who had to be hurt and broken. But if it wasn't me it would have been someone else ending up hurt and maybe dead.
I was broken after this relationship, after all this pain, but I got myself back.
I did forget about the being free, but because I did forget, I broke the chains. I escaped my prison and became who I am now.
Happy, free and loved.