My English Speech

Abusive Relationship

Today I am here to talk to you about Abusive relationships. I am reaching out to you because I need your help. I might just be one person in a world, with billions and billions of people. But John F. Kennedy once said: ''One person can make a difference, and everyone should try.''

So I asked myself: '' What is an abusive Relationship?'' Being abused means you are being mistreated. You feel like you are thrown into hole, while your significant other stands at the edge, holding a ladder. But instead of helping you out, they watch, and wait to see how you find a way, to get out of the hole yourself.

Many people don't know what being abused means. Many people don't know why people abuse others. And many people don't know what effect being abused can cause.

People who are abused don't see themselves as victims, as for abusers, they don't see themselves as being abusive. People often think being abusive means physical violence like hitting, slapping and even choking. But there is more to that. Abuse can take other forms, such as psychological, emotional , or sexual.

It can happen to people who are married or not married; heterosexual, gay or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Abusers threaten you, your family and even your friends. They make you feel bad by telling you their mistakes were your own. They put you down, hoping you will feel useless , to make themselves feel better. And they isolate you from the world, as the world should only exist for them.

''But words are such unpredictable creatures. No gun, no sword, no army or king will ever be more powerful than a sentence. Swords may cut and kill, but words will stab and stay, burying themselves in our bones to become corpses we carry into the future.'' This a lesson I learned from an author from the book 'Ignite me'.

But the Abusers are often victims themselves. Some tragic incident caused them to become like this. Many abusers were hurt when they were a child. Maybe their role models like mothers and fathers left the family or even passed away. Or they are grown up in a world where violence only exist.

Pearl S. Buck quoted: ''Children who are not loved, will grow up to adults, who are incapable of loving.''

So I allude to you to think what effects could have for someone who suffered such relationship. I allude you to watch out for signs which indicate of you being in such relationship. I allude not to look away if you know people who are in such relationships. Help as many as you can.

The effects are irreversible and can destroy a person starting from the inside.

I have done well

"I have done well." These are the words Ann says at the end of this chapter.  

July 30 - Eleven months

Today is the day Ann wants to reveal her sculpture to Connor. She is excited but when he arrives home, she hears from his voice that he isn't in a good mood. The sound of his voice has a dangerous edge to it. A edge to tell you to stay away. Before it can simmer, stew and explode.
She panics because she doesn't want to show him the heart when he is in this mood. When she hands him the beautiful heart, she wants him to smile. She wants to hide it, before his reaction could disappoint her, but he finds it before she can do so.He smiles, and wraps his arms around her. And she know she has done well.

I have done well. Something that not everyone can say in this kind of relationship. I never admitted that I have done something well. Because admitting it means you accepting something, even when it goes wrong.And being disappointed is the worst feeling ever. I understand how Ann feels. She made something with all of her heart. She worked for it, she wants to be happy. She deserves to be happy. And for that moment she is happy, and that no one can take it away from her.

Introduction

Hello!

Firstly I would like to introduce myself. My name is Vanessa. I am a girl of 18 years. I have gone through things, that not many 18 year olds have. I would like would to share with you my experience. The biggest lesson, I have learned in my 18 years of living.

But instead of just writing my experience, I wanted to try out something new. I got this book called, "But I love him" by Amanda Grace.

'But I love him' is about a girl called Ann. She was a smiling, straight-A- student and track star was friends and a future. Until she met a haunted young man named Conner. Only she can heal his emotional scars, while only he can make her feel so loved - and needed. The perfect relationship she had with him was long gone. The man she first fell in love with disappeared, as just one mistake could trigger Connor's rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything - and everyone - in its path.

The book deals with emotional and physical abuse. The kind of abuse no one in life should ever experience. No matter if it's a child-abuse, bullying at school or even at a workplace, Abuse is the worse thing you could do to anybody.


So lets start shall we? 

August 30 - One year

Ann describes the Aftermath of the fight. She says "My chest is hallow and empty, as if he ripped out my heart and took it with him when he left [...] All i feel is pain"
What I want to say about this is, that my Ex boyfriend made me feel like I was nothing. My chest was empty, my thoughts were empty and my heart, it felt nothing but pain. Feeling pain is one of the worst feeling you can feel. But quoting John Greens book "The fault in our stars" , he says: ''Thats the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."
There are different degrees of pain:

1. Pain caused by losing someone you know/ loved
2. Pain caused by emotional stress
3. Pain caused by physical stress
4. Pain caused by a heartbreak or a lost love

but the worst type of pain is:
   
     5. Pain caused by someone you love

As you can see pain will always be there. It can be disguised and it might hit you when you least expect it.

After the fight, Ann sits alone in the darkness, hoping the world would leave well enough alone and we could find peace. She understands that, No one can protect her because she pushed them all away. She lost everything, she gave him everything but he gave her nothing back in return. She knows she lost herself.
I myself did the same mistake. I loved that guy alot. Because of that love, it blinded me. It blinded my actions, my thinking and the worst thing of all, my heart. I gave him everything I had. I gave up my friends, my hobbys, even my family. We thought "its us against the world" but I never expected the world to be against me.
Being with him, I longed for the love I dearly seeked for. The love that was never there to begin with. The foolish youngness of my youth, thinking finding true love is the most important thing you must find. I was foolish, I know that now, but telling the 16 year old Vanessa what stupid thing she is doing, you wouldn't have gotten far.
Ann lost herself, I myself, lost myself. How could we be so foolish to not believe in the greater good?